Seven States Isn't THAT Far...

Colby signing in.

Ashlee singing in.

Confusion avoided.

A lot of people talk about "long distance relationships," and really, we have a confession to make: we have one.

Yeah and what's up with kids these days whining about long distance relationships when they've NEVER EVEN MET?

I know, right? I'm not really sure how you can miss someone you've never even met. We, on the other hand, saw each other literally every day before you moved.

Literally. Every day I would leave work, then head to your house to hang out for however long.

Yep. We're now separated by seven states and are closer than ever. In case you're wondering how we do it, we've decided to provide this handy guide to good ways to stay close versus bad ways to stay close to help you recognize the difference.

Step One: Actually BE close, as these won't work if you, well, aren't. THEN...

GOOD WAY:

When one of you is sick, text each other to keep posted on developments at the doctor so the other can know if the illness warrants a fun card in the mail versus the first plane home to have a bedside vigil.

BAD WAY:

Write out your entire medical history, including details of the consistency of your diarrhea, your past five psychiatrists' names, and a photograph of your colon on a public forum.

GOOD WAY:

Privately share your new address so you can mail your friend her Bitch #2 t-shirt and her Slytherin necklace.

BAD WAY:

Post your full name, address, birthday, social security number, hair and eye color, and a picture of your new apartment straight from google maps on your favorite social networking site. You want to stay close to your friend, not your "closest" 5,000 "friends."

GOOD WAY:

Let your friend know when you might be home this weekend in between work, hanging out with your significant other, and parties or other things on your schedule. This way, you guys can have some time to chat on the phone or online.

BAD WAY:

Neglecting to have any social life aside from sitting on the computer and waiting for your friend to get back on and/or not having any other friends besides your long distance one, because that's just plain creepy.

GOOD WAY:

Make solid plans to visit your friend by saving money and following through with plans.

BAD WAY:

Whine about not getting to see your friend and beg for money from your parents/friends/other people you met on the internet in order to hopefully make a trip 3 years from now. In the meantime, happily let your friend know about all the movie tickets you're buying, the new dresses you've purchased, and the plays you've seen. She'll really appreciate hearing the money you don't have saved up is going to good use.

GOOD WAY:

If your pal is having a bad day, reply to her tweet with something fun to cheer her up.

Example: Pal: Growl. Work + headache = agh!

You: You know what makes my headaches better? (insert link of Harry Potter comic/Matt Damon youtube video/funny blunt card)

BAD WAY:

If your pal is having a bad day, reply to her tweet with something that will only make her bad day worse.

Example

Pal: Work + headache = agh!

You: Oh noes! Is your boss being a cherry flavored douchebag again like you said he was last week? Want me to kick his ass?

So, there you have it, folks! Ways to stay close at a distance (without looking like idiots). How do you cope with long distance relationships?

And So It Begins

Hi there, bloglets, and welcome to our new blog. "Our" meaning mine and Ashlee's, Ashlee's and mine. If you know us in real life, you pretty much know we're joined at the hip in a we-share-a-vital-organ-so-don't-try-to-separate-us sort of a way. If you're visiting from my blog, you'll know Ashlee as my best friend, Blog Club Chief of Staff, and general partner in crime. Still, you're probably thinking, "Why blog together?" (Side note: Because everyone loves to have words put in their mouths, right?) In order to explain that, a little back story. *ahem*

Colby and I met at callbacks for Beauty and the Beast at a local community theatre in October of 2007. We seemed to be the only two girls who didn't know everyone else. We might go into more detail about our time spent at the theatre, but suffice it to say that that night was the start of a beautiful friendship. After the show was over, we started meeting once a week for movie night. This eventually evolved into me just heading straight to Colby's apartment every single day after work in order to do absolutely nothing. We quickly discovered we obsess over the same things and I think that has been what holds us together so well. We no longer had to obsess alone - we could be absolutely insane together!

Over the years, we've realized we share a lot of thoughts ranging from the mundane to the insane. It has become frighteningly common for one of us to comment on something we'd just been thinking about and have the other reply, "I was just thinking about that yesterday/and hour ago/five minutes ago." There is even a classic response now, this has happened so much. It is: "Of course you were."

Yes, for example. In writing this blog post, Colby wrote her paragraphs first and then I inserted my paragraphs. I finished my above paragraph, then scrolled down to see read Colby's next paragraph. I somehow managed to segue perfectly...we both used the word insane. It might sound small and stupid to you, but it happens to us ALL THE TIME.

We also tend to understand each other incredibly well, rely on each other far more than normal humans, dream about each other, and share a lot of personality quirks. Yes, it is dysfunctional. Yes, we are codependent. Is it abnormal? Yes. Is it unhealthy? Maybe. Does it work? Definitely.

We are twins. Zat is why.