Saturday, April 16, 2011

Textually Active: To Aunt, or Not to Aunt?

The following is a real-life excerpt from a Colby and Ashlee text session:

April 13, 2011 2:30pm
C: Did you see the video posted of the kid at disneyworld swearing allegiance to darth vader? I thought you'd like it. A: Haha no I haven't. Will check it out. C: I want that to be your and jps kid one day. Aunt colby will groom him or her. Lol.
April 13, 2011 3:36pm
A: Will our kids call us aunt? I've never thought about that until this moment! C: Lol. I just assumed. Lol
April 13, 2011 4:14pm
C: What do you think? A: Um yes!

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Storm's a Brewin'

Colby signing in.
Ashlee signing in.
Confusion avoided.

And now, ladies and gents, a little look into our personalities... Once upon a time, in a land I like to call 2008, a great movie night was planned. It was a dark and stormy night...well, then again, it wasn't. Yet. But I digress. Ashlee called me to let me know she was leaving her house-- she'd seen reports of impending bad weather on the news, but she thought the sky looked pretty clear, so she was going to go ahead and set out for my apartment. We hung up the phone, thinking all was well. Little did we know, all was not well. It took about 20 minutes for me to be completely freaked out. There was no rain, but it was really windy and the lightning was the worst I've ever seen. It was constant electricity streaking through the sky...terrifying. Finally I called Colby to help me try and stay calm. My muscles were so tense, my knuckles were white from gripping the steering wheel, and I was resisting the urge to go way above the speed limit in order to get there as quickly as possible. I needed comfort.
Haha...little did Ashlee know that I was the last person she needed to turn to for said comfort. She says can't see in front of her it's raining so hard. I flip on the TV to check the weather, and I see we're in the middle of cell of tornado-warnings. The string of words that started to fly out of my mouth would've made a Marine blush.
Yeah. Needless to say it only made me more freaked out. I listened as Colby started trying to herd her pets into her closet (unsuccessfully, by the increase in cuss words I started hearing). At some point both of our voices were elevated. Hers dropping f-bombs in terror, and mine yelling for her to please stop cussing because it was not helping. I was only a few exits away from Colby's exit when I decided to pull over under a bridge, just in case. It was about that time that another friend of ours (who had been planning to join us at Colby's) called to say her family had crammed into the bathroom when they heard the roar of a tornado near them and that they'd also heard on TV that it might be heading right toward where I was sitting.
The whole thing is a little blurry, but I'm pretty sure when Ashlee clicked back over to me to tell me this, I said, "Holy motherf***ing son of a b**** in h*** %^$*#( ^$%#*@!" That might be paraphrased a little. And this is the point at which the phrase that would live in our lives for the rest of all time was uttered. Ashlee, calmly and quietly, says, "Colby, when you curse, it makes me nervous." It really did make me nervous. It still does. To this day, if we're involved in any sort of tense situation, Colby's first inclination is to curse, which only serves to freak me out...and follow her example. As far as that stormy night, I never did see an actual tornado...I waited a few minutes, then decided to make a "run" for it and drove the last 10 minutes to Colby's apartment, praying out loud all the way (an interesting contrast to the words that had previously been coming out of my mouth). Our friends still came over later as if nothing had happened.